In today’s society, it’s hard to escape the idea of coupledom. You see it everywhere – the two lovers kissing in the park, the cute couple on a date at the table right next to you, people posting baecation photos up and down your feed. Oh look, is that another engagement video?! The truth is, so many things are set up to benefit and appease people in relationships. And sometimes the single folks get left out. What’s worse, is when people assume that because you’re single, you must be miserable. There’s a certain level of shame associated with being a single woman beyond a certain age. And for many women who’ve been single for a long time, that shame can eventually seep into your self image, causing negative self talk and anxiety.
Now, if this describes you, we want you to know, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Every day, single women are faced with battling judgment and even fear surrounding singlehood. That’s why it’s important to keep positive thoughts about yourself and your situation. Of course, we realize, this is easier said than done. So we’ve curated a collection of narratives from a few happily single gals to boost your morale and inner dialogue. Remember, your peace should be solidified even without partnership.
Nitta, 31
“People have this misconception that because you’re single, you have to be miserable and lonely, which isn’t true at all. Of course, there are days when I crave companionship but there’s really nothing like learning and growing in solitude. Sometimes there are lessons you have to learn that can only come from being alone. Being alone has helped me understand myself, the healing I needed to do and ultimately, what I’m seeking in a partner. You have to be whole on your own before you try to add someone else to the equation. I’m proud to say that my time as a single woman has brought me closer to myself and the things I truly value.”
Michelle, 43
“I got married when I was young. I did everything by the book. Went to school, got my degree, met the man of my dreams and started a family. I thought this was the life I wanted but it was really me following behind someone else's blueprint. Now at 43, I’m divorced and learning what really makes Michelle happy. I used to feel like such a failure and I was ashamed that my marriage was unsuccessful, especially after years of seeing how differently society treats you when you become a wife. Now, I have peace in knowing that I’m finding my voice and creating a life that agrees with me. I’m unlearning so many things and getting back to taking care of myself, spiritually, mentally and emotionally. I may be single, but I feel empowered and more confident than I ever did before.”
Kourtnee, 33
The trick to enjoying singlehood is treating yourself. It’s all about spoiling yourself, spending time with yourself and getting to know yourself outside of a partner. That way, when a partner comes along, they’re a complement to you and not necessarily your other half. You have to spend time alone to know what you like and don’t like. Don’t use the time “waiting for someone to come along” — there’s no telling when it will happen. And if they don’t come along in the time frame you’ve allotted for yourself, then you’ll feel like you’ve wasted time. So enjoy every moment and make the best out of it. Your life is so much more than your relationship status.