It's easy to fall in love with the illusion of being in love. The kind of love where you experience nothing but butterflies in your stomach, playful touching, giggles, and the world feeling as if it's standing still when you're with that special someone. Those are all great feelings.
As women we sometimes date and immediately start imagining life with that one special interest who seems simply irresitable. That may not be you but I was 100 percent guilty of behaving this way. Those romantic movies don't help and neither does social media. There's always a friend posting engagement or anniversary pictures with that serious facial expression as if the couple is gazing into each others eyes. "It's sickening," I often think. Well, not really. I'm just overreacting as always but you've seen these pictures on your timeline at least once.
It's really easy to believe that relationships are filled with joy and that you're missing out on life if you're a single woman. The reality is if you allow yourself to get caught up, you may find yourself spending the rest of your life with the wrong person. All because you were pulled into the illusion of being in love and relationships that appear fairytale like on social media. I have several friends who settled but are currently in unhappy relationships.
Today, I too am a married woman and I often hear my single friends complain about life and being alone. I get it because it can be a bit depressing when you walk into an empty house or don't have someone to share a crazy idea with when it pops up in your head. I can name more but the list of things we dislike doing alone can go on and on. However, instead of naming those things, I rather introduce you to two words, patience and compromise.
It hit me not long ago that I am not good at comprominsing. In fact, I can be selfish at times. Everything is mine, mine, mine. Ten years ago, all I was focused on was a significant other while not correcting myself in the wrong. I'm also impatient and want things fast. I know being this way isn't right which is why I encourage single women to take their time when they date. I truly understand that "Give me a ring" attitude because that was me. However, a single friend recently sent me a text that resonated. We barely talk but she's been determined to find love. The text read, "Name the easiest and hardest thing about marriage." I replied with two words. Companionship I named as the easiest and compromise as the hardest.
Limited patience and compromise aren't problems for every single woman because in some cases women compromise the wrong things like integrity and more. However, the recent text certainly made me think that we sometimes focus too much on the easiest part of relationships which is companionship when we ultimately should be working on ourselves, learning how to compromise the "right" things in order to endure challenges while creating healthier relationships.