Computer love….just one click away?

You know one of the humorous things about being single is when you have that one friend who’s now a matchmaker. In my case, I have a few who are matchmakers. Ha! Those so called friend referrals or date set-ups have now turned into dating stories I like to laugh about with friends.  The good thing is some of my bad experiences didn't ruin any of my friendships. But there’s something about those conversations now that start off like, “Girl, I've found the perfect guy for you,” that now make my antennas go up.

While I may have closed the door on friends who like to play “matchmaker” I have turned to one thing I’m sure many of us today can identify with and that’s online dating.  New research reveals that there is no longer a stigma behind online dating and people have turned to the web to find love. I’m shocked myself considering that I thought traditional, face to face, meet and greets would never go out of style.  Of course you know what’s next, I created an online profile. I just had to mostly because my friends strongly suggested I make that a part of my dating experience.

Hmm, what do I say about myself? What picture should I use? These are all important questions especially if you want to snag someone interesting.  I’m like another Carrie Bradshaw from the show “Sex in the City.” Of course with a little more flavor and all I want is man that’s smart, respectful and he must have nice teeth. I've attracted a nice range of profile hits and a few have also caught my eye.

It’s exciting to know that there are people out there with fairy-tale stories about women and men of their dreams, being a click away. To date, I have only run into guys that I would prefer not to date seriously. However, my profile is still lingering around in cyberspace. Why not take advantage of this technology enhanced era and increase my chances of meeting someone. According to the Pew Research Center, about 5 percent of American couples, whether married or in a committed relationships, have met their significant others online.  And with that information, I know there’s hope for the Carrie Bradshaw’s of the world. I may even give some of those self-proclaimed matchmakers in my life another chance at picking my next date. Who knows, I just may get lucky.

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You're Not Alone

The simple answer for some single women, who question their “alone” status, lies in the statistics. Well that’s at least what I think. According to Wikipedia, men actually outnumber women across the world but fortunately in the United States the ratio of men and women is nearly even with 98 men to 100 women. Although, statistics show the number of men has gradually increased each year since the sixties, it doesn't look that way everywhere across the globe. For an example, Caribbean Islands has the highest ratio of women with 84 men per 100 women.

Before I met my significant other, I remember dating as fun. Pretty much something my father pushed me into doing. It was 2006, and I was living at home with my parents. I've always had lots of friends but back then I would spend a lot of time relaxing in my room by myself. Until one day, my father said, “Girl this is as young as you’re going to ever look, get out of the house and have some fun.” That’s all it took. I immediately stopped turning down calls to go out. I learned how to really manage my social life while setting aside appropriate time for my career. Literally every night I had something on my calendar. Dating for me started out as simple friendships with some folks. I've always loved meeting new people and sparking up conversations with random people even if it was at the grocery store.

But during my early twenties, I still wasn’t that optimistic about my romantic future. I had several moments where I questioned whether or not I would meet prince charming. In fact, there were even times, when I would be out and look at other couples and scream, “WHY” in my head. “Why is he with her?”  I would ask myself all the routine questions some single women tend to whisper to themselves. I remember a friend of mine called me once to share some good news. A quick glance at my cell phone, I didn’t recognize the number but I recognized the voice as soon as I answered. “Guess what,” she said. Very calmly I said, “What, do you have to tell me?” The surprise was that she was engaged to get married. Of course I immediately became happy especially because I knew her most private struggles with men. It also hit me at that same moment that maybe I’m doing something wrong.

I understand today, with computers and social media “dating” has really become tainted. Some people have become too comfortable with sending text messages or communicating through social media platforms. That I can truly see as a challenge alone. I consider myself fairly young but still very old school. I always wanted to see a person’s face during an intimate conversation, take a long walk, have dinner and melt at the sight of the man going ahead to open the door for me. Is that too much to ask? Absolutely not!  I became more determine to not waste my time on men who weren’t the traditional gentlemen. I started to check off men who couldn’t hold an intelligent conversation and made sure I didn’t date someone because of their height, or any other physical appearances.

I wish I had a secret formula for dating. What worked for me will not work for every person looking to settle down with the right one. I can only suggest keeping your standards high, and saying no to all those gut feelings that tell you to settle. Who says you have to be married by 25, 30 or 40 years old for all of that? Who are you racing against? I have to constantly remind myself of that in other areas of my life so trust me you’re not alone. Don’t be deterred by the ratio of men to women. Just get out for the right reasons, let your hair down, dance like no one is watching and enjoy every moment of your life.  Whether you’re sharing those moments alone or with someone special, you’ll quickly see as you start to do that, things will turn around for the better, even if the only thing that improves is your social life. Statistics show people who have lots of good friendships live longer.

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