I never thought I would see this day. The day that I’d become comfortable with my “childless” status. Some of us are groomed very young to be nurturers. We were even showered with countless dolls, subliminally sending the message that little girls will eventually become mothers. We also hold onto hope that one day we’ll birth our very own baby.
What happens when that’s not your story? How do you handle it and better yet how do you explain to others that you can still live a fulfilling life without children?
One thing I find important when doctors can’t explain why you’re having trouble conceiving a child is a support team. You know the tight circle of friends that will keep you mentally strong. Three years ago having a support team never crossed my mind. I often thought, “There’s no one is my life that would understand this struggle.”
Surprisingly, there were quite a few people in my life that shared moments with me keeping me from falling into a dark depressing space. That’s when I decided to re-examine my relationships with people. I’ve always been a private person, opening up to very few people. Outsiders looking in would call me strong; others considered it being too guarded. I on the other hand considered my behavior cautious. So choosing folks to talk with about my “unexplained infertility” diagnosis and motherhood journey was not easy.
We all know nothing in life is promised. There will be women who will never marry, birth children, have a career and so on. It doesn’t help when people make you feel like a failure when you’re missing any of the above. The reality is you’re simply not guaranteed those things in life. That doesn’t mean you haven’t prayed hard enough or that you’re cursed. I’ve learned that the best thing to have is family or a set of friends that can offer a shoulder to cry on, a listening ear, or be that person who knows all the right things to say in order to keep you sane.
While many of us struggling with infertility feel broken, there will come a time for healing but only if you allow it or form a support system to heal those broken wings.