“You’ll change your mind”

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When people come across women and men who don’t have any children, they often make assumptions or give unsolicited advice and prayers. That’s because there are actually folks who believe a person’s life isn’t fulfilled until they conceive a child. Some people would argue that the reason for human existence is for procreation. Yes, to some it’s important to keep the family’s bloodline alive. There’s a number of reasons for having children and just as many to support those who opt to be childfree. Then there’s a select few who go back and forth with the idea of children. That’s okay too. However, for those who are firm in their decision not to have children tend to get the, “You’ll change your mind speech.” As if the choice to not bear children calls for a immediate debate with those who have them. It’s almost as if some of those people are trying to convince themselves that they made the right choice, or that everyone must come to the same conclusion in life. I’m curious if it works the other way around. Do parents have regrets and wish upon a star that they’ve done things differently?

Can the woman (or man) who desperately wanted kids in the past, get over it? Yes, because I know that woman. Sometimes the thought of having children comes in stages of life. At one point, everyone around a close friend of mine was getting married and having babies. But it never happened for her. Of course, she mourned her fertility challenges with people like myself. However, she later openly admitted that she only wanted children because she thought that was the thing to do. Eventually, she found peace and comfort with childfree living. My story is a bit similar. I’m married and childfree as well. In fact, sometimes when my husband and I are together, at a social event, we still get the “You’ll change your mind,” speech. Instead of diving deep into a conversation, we both just look at each other, laugh, and quietly say, “No, we won’t.”