Every once in a while an image of a child flashes through my mind. It happens during quiet moments when I’m usually staring into space. I used to get excited every time it happened. I felt like those moments were subtle hints of comfort and confirmation that I would soon become a mother. There’s always this reoccurring image of a baby girl that warms my soul. It’s so realistic that I feel like I can just reach out and touch her. Surprisingly, the experience has truly helped me to do one thing: Be a mom.
I always thought women had to bear children to become mothers. That’s the furthest from the truth. Some women may never experience motherhood as the world sees it. However, naturally giving birth to a child isn’t the only way women can take on such a nurturing role. I’d like to think of myself as a mom. It’s a role I play often whenever I’m around children. Instead of waiting until the day I bear a child, labeling my childless status as a curse or falling into a depression as many celebrate Mother’s Day, I decided to let go of the love bottled up inside me and share with those just because I'm loved. I'm loved unconditionally by my mother, and all the women including aunts who molded me into the person I am today.
Infertility takes women on a journey that no one can actually prepare for. It certainly never crossed my mind. I grew up with lots of dolls and played house as a kid. My imagination ran wild then and motherhood was always a part it. I just knew I was going to have children. To my surprise, things worked out differently. I've cried, screamed even felt ashamed about my childless status. Then it hit me. "What does it take to be a mom," I asked myself. My first thought: It takes love, resiliency and the desire to love all children as your own. After all children are a gift from God and for that reason I am a mom and so are you.
Happy Mother's Day!