Growing up it never really bothered me that my dad wasn't around because I always had my grandfather. He is my main man!The both of us were very close and the relationship remains that way today. As far as I know, my grandfather is the first man to ever really love me. He was the first man to ever open a door for me, take me on a date, and show me unconditional love. He was always there no matter what!I was his only grand-baby up until recently. It's been my grandfather and I for 32 years.Yes, I was the only grandchild for more than three decades.
As for my father, my mom never talked badly about my dad. In fact, she always taught me to respect him and honor his last name in spite of his faults. I will never forget riding on the subway to school and seeing my dad passed out on the back of the train because he was intoxicated. I never once was ashamed of him or made fun of his addiction. Instead I made light of situations like that and would say to my friends, "Hey that's my dad, so don't laugh." It's but I think about my dad more and more especially during the Holidays and on my birthday. I recently turned 32 and I can't think of a time when my father picked up the phone just to say "Happy Birthday." I often wonder if my mistakes with men have stemmed from the lack of relationship with my dad.
Yes, my grandfather is amazing but he painted a fairytale for me. He had me thinking I was going to marry Prince Charming! I will forever be grateful for the love that my grandfather showed me because he stepped in during a time of need. However, I will forever wonder if having my dad around would have helped me through love and relationships. Whatever the case, I just want to remind men who are fathers to always be there for their children. The truth is fathers serve as their daughter's first example of what a men should be. If I ever get married and have a daughter, I pray that my daughter will never question her father's love and that her grandfather can enjoy being just that...... A grandfather!