Every time this man and I connected I thought we were making magic beyond love. Our bodies melted the moment they touched. I was 23 years old and he was in his thirties. The age gap didn’t matter to us, we were in love, so I thought. This man treated me like a queen and I felt like one each time I was in his presence. He cooked for me, supported my dreams and career, showered me with gifts and just truly cared for me in every which way a woman should be treated by a man. Our relationship was a page taken from the best romance novel you could find. Hmm, I still get goosebumps when I think of the most intimate moments we shared together.
I was in love. “What else could it be,” I thought. Like any woman, it can be tough to keep things bottled up inside so I decided to tell him how I felt. The moment I chose was definitely the wrong time to blurt out the words, “I love you.” I whispered it softly, but loud of enough for him to hear as my body felt the most electrifying waves inside of it. I was oblivious to what could be racing through his mind. I was in total happiness.
However, without warning, he hit the “pause” button on our relationship as if he was holding a remote control. He didn’t show any obvious upsetting signs until a few days later when he suddenly disappeared. I knew where he lived and worked but I’ve never been into stalking so I decided to play the waiting game. Many of the places we frequented together, he stopped visiting and he also stopped calling me. I was hurt but found humor in the situation. “Are you kidding, he stopped calling,” my best friend questioned me as she chuckled over the phone. My girlfriends and I made the biggest joke out of it, making it easy to move on. Sure, in the back in my mind, I wondered why he stopped calling. I even questioned if his feelings were ever real. Then one day, my cell phone rang. It was in my huge purse, and as usual I dumped everything out to get to the call before my voicemail interfered. “Hello,” I said gasping for air. I was out of breath from searching through my unorganized purse. The voice on the other end, was a familiar one. It was him and my heart skipped a beat even though I acted as if the surprise call didn’t faze me. Before he could say anything else after greeting me, I asked him about his disappearing act. He replied, “You scared me off when you whispered the words, I love you in my ear.” I couldn’t believe the nerve of him. I was very mature about the situation and during the phone call. We didn’t get into an argument. We just simply talked things out and about the moment that ultimately ended our relationship for the best.
The truth is....I was in love with the idea of being in love with this man. I was blinded by lust and the illusion of love. The reality is love is patient and love is kind and if it’s real, a man will demonstrate those characteristics and so will you.