How to discover the real you with a mirror…..
What do you see when you look into the mirror? I strongly believe the mirrors in our homes can sometimes be taken as good or the opposite, revealing flaws we often try to conceal. Lately, my super large mirror and I have not been getting along. I usually blame my mirror for everything! I blame my mirror for not recognizing coffee stains on my clothing that I often miss while in a rush or the lipstick that lands on my teeth. However lately I have been blaming my mirror for my constant heartache. Every time I look in the mirror I feel like I'm reminded of a flaw that I didn't see before and no matter how much I change my outer appearance, my mirror always catches the real me. I have been holding on to so much these past few months such heartbreak from yet another failed love interest and sadness because I didn't want to face the truth. The reality is we can't hide from our truth and it's just that simple. We can walk past our mirrors, pretend that they aren't there but eventually we will have to face them and the fact that the person looking back is truly us.
So I've been making a point to not only stop and look in my mirror but confront myself and ask if I really like the person that I've been seeing?! In doing so, I’ve realized that I'm not defined by who I see or by the things that I've gone through. My mirror is just a reminder that the person I see is still here and that person can still grow and change for the better.
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Valentine's Day: The day I fell for all the hype
The year was 2000. It was a cold windy day but that didn't stop me from being fashionable and wearing my bright pink wool coat. My long hair was blowing in the wind periodically sticking to the clear gloss on my lips. I was happy until I walked into my job that day. I worked at a law firm. I was still in college and the youngest in the office. To my surprise roses were everywhere and being delivered to many of the secretaries who were cheerful like school girls. I had no reason to be happy. I was single and recently dumped by my college sweetheart. It's funny how you process Valentine's Day when you're single. You start to say things like, "It's noting but an ordinary day." This paticular Valentine's Day I desperately tried to convince myself that it was just a regular day.
However, by the evening my day took an unexpected turn. I met up with my best friend at the mall. She was single too. Being silly, we started to both joke about our dating lives. As we visited store after store, something caught my attention. It was a pink balloon and it matched my coat. On the balloon it read, "Congratulations on your engagement!" Suddenly mesmerized and without hesitaion, I purchased it. When my friend noticed my purchase, she shouted, "You're so crazy!" Then we both burst into laughter.
In that moment, yes I was crazy and wanted to feel special like every other girl walking around with flowers, stuffed animals and holiday candy. That's just what happened, when I began to walk around the mall with my balloon. I immediatley felt special. "Congratulations," people shouted from across the mall. Then there were those who slowly put their heads down possibly boiling with more hate for cupid. The black leather gloves I wore that day made my fake engagement easier. Shockingly, no one asked to see my ring finger and quite frankly I'm glad no one was bold enough to ask about my "engagement" details. What I did enjoy was all the love and attention.
Sure that's what we want sometimes, and there's nothing wrong with it even if it is only for short moments. However, I later realized that the Valentine's Day craze forced me to fall for all the hype. Thankfully that only happened once. Today, it is seriously just another day.
I'm older, more mature and now married. It's funny because one day when my husband and I were only dating we decided to run out to the mall. It was another cold day and I needed a case for my cell phone. As we walked around, we couldn't help but notice couples everywhere. There were long lines in restaurants and most peope were draped in red clothing. We thought it was the weirdest thing. So as we were exiting the mall, I approached a couple. "Excuse me, what's going on today and why is everyone wearing red," I softly whispered. The couple looked stunned and the woman then loudly replied, "It's Valentine's Day!" Like a deer-in-headlights, I looked at my boyfriend and just laughed. To think there was a time I stressed myself out over the holiday, amazed me. I'm loved and cherished so much that today when "V" day rolls around I'm oblivious to it. The lesson is don't wait around for someone else to make you feel special, just show yourself some love until that special someone comes sweeping you off your feet and making you feel like every day you're his sweetheart. 💋
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Do this one thing......
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My first love.....
Growing up it never really bothered me that my dad wasn't around because I always had my grandfather. He is my main man!The both of us were very close and the relationship remains that way today. As far as I know, my grandfather is the first man to ever really love me. He was the first man to ever open a door for me, take me on a date, and show me unconditional love. He was always there no matter what!I was his only grand-baby up until recently. It's been my grandfather and I for 32 years.Yes, I was the only grandchild for more than three decades.
As for my father, my mom never talked badly about my dad. In fact, she always taught me to respect him and honor his last name in spite of his faults. I will never forget riding on the subway to school and seeing my dad passed out on the back of the train because he was intoxicated. I never once was ashamed of him or made fun of his addiction. Instead I made light of situations like that and would say to my friends, "Hey that's my dad, so don't laugh." It's but I think about my dad more and more especially during the Holidays and on my birthday. I recently turned 32 and I can't think of a time when my father picked up the phone just to say "Happy Birthday." I often wonder if my mistakes with men have stemmed from the lack of relationship with my dad.
Yes, my grandfather is amazing but he painted a fairytale for me. He had me thinking I was going to marry Prince Charming! I will forever be grateful for the love that my grandfather showed me because he stepped in during a time of need. However, I will forever wonder if having my dad around would have helped me through love and relationships. Whatever the case, I just want to remind men who are fathers to always be there for their children. The truth is fathers serve as their daughter's first example of what a men should be. If I ever get married and have a daughter, I pray that my daughter will never question her father's love and that her grandfather can enjoy being just that...... A grandfather!