My dream baby....

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It was a soft kiss and my eyes were closed. It felt so real but then I opened my eyes.   I was dreaming. I’m not sure what the dream was about but somewhere in the dream a baby appeared. The kiss was from a chubby baby girl and she called me mommy.  That was music to my ears. She also looked adorable with curly dark hair. 

I’m not sure why I had that dream. Recently I decided that kids may not be for me. After trying to conceive and taking fertility treatments, I’m worn out. It doesn’t help that I’m always so tired from my day-to-day work routine.  I also feel like time has passed me by especially as I quickly approach the tail end of my thirties. My decision came during a ride to a funeral. A very close friend of mine lost her brother and as I prepared myself to comfort her, I suddenly realized that maybe I should exercise being the best aunt I could be. She has two children and they both call me “auntie.”  

It’s funny how life plays out sometimes. Although I’m the eldest of four children I never imagined hearing that word “aunt” before “mommy.”  I thought my ears would be ringing in a good way of course from the word “mommy” by now. However, my friend’s children aren’t the only ones that call me “auntie.”  One of my brothers has two children including a toddler who tickles me every time she says the name. She’s a soon to be four-year old and I love her more than I ever thought I could love. That’s probably because she was born during my trying-to-conceive period. 

People often say there’s a meaning behind every dream.  I often wonder what my dreams are telling me especially my dream about the mysterious baby. Whatever the message is I’m truly thankful to be the nurturer that I always knew was within me. Sure I’m not a nurturer to my own children, only to my many nieces and nephews and that’s the greatest feeling in the world.

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