"Yes, let's have a baby," I shouted with excitement. That was four years ago. I realized that as I drove my 4 year-old niece to my best friend's daughter birthday party. So many things raced across my mind then especially when I met one parent. She looked older but fit as she juggled two children at the gathering. The woman had a 1 year-old boy and 5 year-old girl. I was drawn to this particular parent mostly because of her age. Majority of the women I know became mothers in their early twenties and today they still look young with their teenage children. However, I knew that wasn't the case for this slender woman who appeared to be older with a very young spirit. A spirit that I believed wasn't possible for women who had children late. I've come across so many self-proclaimed fertility experts that have been more discouraging than encouraging once they learn of my age. As I stared at this woman, I began to think that could be me. It was at that moment, I began to feel a sense of joy.
Fascinated with this woman's energy, I asked my friend about the woman. "She's 44 years-old," my friend answered without hesitation. It's like my friend was reading my mind. "That's seven years older than me," I said with amazement to myself. It was like my hope was suddenly restored. I'm often back and forth when it comes to children because of my age. In fact, I feel like some days I should let go until I meet older parents who share their positive experiences.
Today, is a good day and I feel hopeful about what the future has in store for me. Even if it's not motherhood, my hope is that others are encouraged as they continue to cope with their fertility challenges. It's really important for those who conquer infertility to remain supportive as well and I can see myself doing just that even if my journey leads to motherhood. In a weird way, I feel like infertility is my calling, and giving me a purpose. One thing is definitely not an option and that's losing hope.