infertility

, , ,

Infertility and one more shot to beat it.

, , ,
IMG_5126.JPG

Watching another couple’s journey to beat infertility is like looking in the mirror. The testing, fertility treatments, secrecy, shame, expense, ovulation kits, negative pregnancy tests and tears were all an immediate reminder of infertility and a journey I’d never thought would be a part of my story. In the U.S, one in 8 couples have trouble conceiving a child. That means at least a year of trying to conceive with no results. The experience sometimes leads to troubling times for couples due to the stress of pregnancy false alarms and the overwhelming number of baby shower invitations flooding your mail box.

One More Shot not only documents the raw side of infertility, it inspires the couple who may have thought of parenting only as birthing a child with their own biology. The film, which is centered around Noah Moskin and his wife, Maya also brings fertility once again to the forefront. I can’t tell you how many times, I lied to people just to hide the fact that my husband and I were having trouble getting pregnant. I felt alone, even with my husband by my side.

Unfortunately, infertility feels like a curse. There are short moments of hope until your menstrual cycle begins. Once that happens, you immediately start to question why it’s happening to you. Today, more people know about our struggle but it doesn’t fix the hurt I often feel when someone announces their pregnancy. My stomach cramps up each time I get the news that most are often excited about. For myself, those announcements make me feel as if I’m being teased, bullied and laughed at. No matter how the news is delivered.... it’s triggers an ugly side of me that only my husband is fortunate to see.

However, the personal accounts of those brave couples in One More Shot reminds us all that we’re not alone.  I especially love how the men shared their feelings, showing us a side that’s underrepresented in media.

In short, the film confirms that infertility can be defeated whether it’s through In Vitro Fertilization, adoption, surrogacy, as well as embryo or sperm donation. The movie in my opinion is award winning and has encouraged my husband and I to also give it One More Shot.

To see the film for yourself or recommend couples experiences fertility challenges, it’s available right now on iTunes.

, , ,

Conquering infertility

, , ,
IMG_3022.JPG

 "Yes, let's have a baby," I shouted with excitement. That was four years ago. I realized that as I drove my 4 year-old niece to my best friend's daughter birthday party. So many things raced across my mind then especially when I met one parent. She looked older but fit as she juggled two children at the gathering. The woman had a 1 year-old boy and 5 year-old girl. I was drawn to this particular parent mostly because of her age. Majority of the women I know became mothers in their early twenties and today they still look young with their teenage children. However, I knew that wasn't the case for this slender woman who appeared to be older with a very young spirit.  A spirit that I believed wasn't possible for women who had children late. I've come across so many self-proclaimed fertility experts that have been more discouraging than encouraging once they learn of my age. As I stared at this woman, I began to think that could be me. It was at that moment, I began to feel a sense of joy.

Fascinated with this woman's energy, I asked my friend about the woman.  "She's 44 years-old," my friend answered without hesitation. It's like my friend was reading my mind.  "That's seven years older than me," I said with amazement to myself. It was like my hope was suddenly restored.  I'm often back and forth when it comes to children because of my age. In fact, I feel like some days I should let go until I meet older parents who share their positive experiences.

Today, is a good day and I feel hopeful about what the future has in store for me.  Even if it's not motherhood, my hope is that others are encouraged as they continue to cope with their fertility challenges.  It's really important for those who conquer infertility to remain supportive as well and I can see myself doing just that even if my journey leads to motherhood.  In a weird way, I feel like infertility is my calling, and giving me a purpose. One thing is definitely not an option and that's losing hope.  

CLICK TITLE TO LEAVE A COMMENT

, ,

Focus..........

, ,
IMG_3763.JPG

 

The softest skin you'll ever touch and sweetest aroma you'll ever smell. That's what comes across my mind when I think of a baby.  The thought of being someone's protector, and comforter tickles me. I guess because in my mind I really would be a very great mother. The simple thought keeps me going especially when I start to obsess over children, think of baby names and pre-plan the most glamous baby shower in my head. I once thought becoming a mother would complete me. 

Then there's the thought that makes me wonder what makes me great without children? I often struggle with that question partly because of my fertility challenges. It's like a deep scar that I'd like to think is healing.  Unfortunately, fertility challenges have changed me, at least a part of my life where being ugly became my norm. It's no excuse but because of it I started to dislike almost everything around me, even pushing good people away. It's so easy to fall into a depression and count the things that go wrong. Instead of focusing on how great of a mother I believe I can be, maybe it's about time I shift my attention to bettering myself.  "How can I fully be the best mom ever, when infertility has brought out the worst in me," I've asked myself.  "Why do I have to wait for a child to love and how could birthing one make me the best person/mother when I have such a bad attitude," are two other questions I've posed. 

The truth is I don't have to wait until I become a mother and becoming one will not autimatically turn me into a more loving person. In fact, it won't work for anyone. Although infertility is no walk in the park, maybe it's a challenge for us to better ourselves, demonstrate patience or a reminder to not take things for granted.  I just might be tasked with achieving all three. Ha! 

Whatever you're struggling with, never think for one moment that your life is incomplete without a child, significant other or anything else. Start to train your mind to see the good in your situation. As for what makes me great now..... my blessings are just too many to count and so are yours. 

 CLICK TITLE TO LEAVE A COMMENT

, , ,

Joyful moments are created........

, , ,
image.jpg

One thing I’ve learned during my infertility journey is that joyful moments are created and are needed most especially during this period in my life. At one time, I was very upset with the thought of not bearing any children.  I’m in my mid-thirties and sometimes I get too wrapped up into thinking about that darn biological clock. The one thing I thought would be an easy accomplishment became a very challenging task.  So I decided to give up because I thought it was best for my sanity. But what I didn’t realize at the time, is giving up caused me to stop living, laughing and smiling. As a result, my infertility struggle grew worse.

The truth is there are going to be moments in our lives when we all come across at least one hurdle.  Infertility is my hurdle.  In other words, it’s a roadblock meant to deter, ultimately keeping you and I from our goals or causing us to fall into depression. I can’t say that I made it over my hurdle just yet, but I am more creative now and working towards it.  To be completely honest, I’m not trying to conceive any more.  The reason is because sometimes, I tend to put too much pressure on myself. I guess that’s the perfectionist inside me. No, I didn’t give up.  Instead, I decided to just live right now, make new friends, and create joyful moments before there’s a bundle of joy.

CLICK TITLE TO LEAVE A COMMENT