Sometimes we can be indecisive about what we do with ourselves during time off from work. Trust me, there’s no judgement here if you’re trying to figure out what to do as many Americans celebrate Labor Day. However, as you relax in your household, childfree or whatever, let us remember our forefathers who fought for the 40-hour work week, including health care, fair pay, pensions, and much more.
How Well Do You Know Yourself? Take a Personality Quiz
“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at will change.”
Have you heard about the Keirsey Temperament Personality chart? It’s a self-assessed personality sorter by David Keirsey to help people understand themselves or maybe others. There are four basic temperaments: Artisan, Guardian, Idealist, and Rational. Which one are you?
The Decision to Build a Life without Children
Some people make the decision to be childfree before they start trying to conceive. Then there are folks who reach the decision to live without children after years of failed fertility treatments. It’s really different for everyone. In fact, the decision to have a childfree life can be a tough reality for family and friends to accept. Whatever the case, choosing a childfree life doesn’t mean you’re a quitter or a failure.
It’s not an easy issue to think about especially for couples who struggle with infertility. Remember that no one is entitled to know why you decided to live childfree. But if you decide to share, try being a little awkward. Turn the tables on the other person and ask why they wanted to have kids. Remind yourself that your value isn’t determined by your reproductive health. Children don’t define your worth or value.
The travel & kid-free zone bucket list
Summer 2020 Edition
Traveling with kids can be fun, full of surprises, loud, crazy or even chaotic. The vibe definitely changes when children are around. However, Adults-only resorts and no-kids-allowed policies have been spreading across vacation destinations. Whether you’re childless by chance or comfortably childfree by choice, you can travel without the distraction of unsupervised children in hotels, restaurants, and attractions. Below are some place to add to your bucket list.
1. Maldives
3. St. Lucia
4. Grenada
5. Fiji
Reach for the Stars: Successful Women who Make Childfree Look Good
News flash! Women can build a life of success without ever bearing a child. For those that do, they are often shamed or labeled everything from selfish to “less of a woman”. No matter how someone gets to the decision, there’s certainly a lot to look forward to as more women blossom into what society still questions. Cheers to women empowering women (even men) who opt to live childfree.
Childfree versus Coronavirus
Women without children are often viewed as spinsters, cat ladies, career women, selfish and the list goes on. However, with the demand for essential workers during the spread of the coronavirus, there’s potentially increased risk of burnout. Anyone, with or without children, can spend too much time working. And everyone has a life in need of balance. Generally, whenever anyone gets downtime it’s usually an opportunity to de-stress, unplug and do whatever you feel like. While those without children are not around to compensate for the commitments of those who have them, there’s never any harm in lending a helping hand to a single mother who’s a nurse working a double shift at the hospital, or the single father struggling to homeschool his children.
There are a number of misconceptions faced by childfree adults in today’s society. However, many prove folks wrong everyday. In fact, I know many to be responsible, mature, nurturing and good role models.
Kindness should never feel like work. So as the coronavirus forces many to go into overdrive to help control it, think of ways you can help a person or even a family during this challenging time. Childfree may be a choice but so is kindness.
“You’ll change your mind”
When people come across women and men who don’t have any children, they often make assumptions or give unsolicited advice and prayers. That’s because there are actually folks who believe a person’s life isn’t fulfilled until they conceive a child. Some people would argue that the reason for human existence is for procreation. Yes, to some it’s important to keep the family’s bloodline alive. There’s a number of reasons for having children and just as many to support those who opt to be childfree. Then there’s a select few who go back and forth with the idea of children. That’s okay too. However, for those who are firm in their decision not to have children tend to get the, “You’ll change your mind speech.” As if the choice to not bear children calls for a immediate debate with those who have them. It’s almost as if some of those people are trying to convince themselves that they made the right choice, or that everyone must come to the same conclusion in life. I’m curious if it works the other way around. Do parents have regrets and wish upon a star that they’ve done things differently?
Can the woman (or man) who desperately wanted kids in the past, get over it? Yes, because I know that woman. Sometimes the thought of having children comes in stages of life. At one point, everyone around a close friend of mine was getting married and having babies. But it never happened for her. Of course, she mourned her fertility challenges with people like myself. However, she later openly admitted that she only wanted children because she thought that was the thing to do. Eventually, she found peace and comfort with childfree living. My story is a bit similar. I’m married and childfree as well. In fact, sometimes when my husband and I are together, at a social event, we still get the “You’ll change your mind,” speech. Instead of diving deep into a conversation, we both just look at each other, laugh, and quietly say, “No, we won’t.”
What childfree means to some folks….
Childfree doesn’t mean free of responsibilities
The lifestyle still requires a level of planning. Let’s shoot for Africa next week, though. 🤷🏽♀️
Be Honest not Impressive
Stay out of women’s wombs
Childfree women arrive at the decision to not have children in various ways and for multiple reasons.
The Childfree Movement
Childfree lifestyles are a choice and not always related to infertility.
Please note that it’s not childless. It’s #ChildFree.
For generations, women would give into and feel social, spousal or parental pressure to bear children. However, there’s a new movement taking the world by storm. A movement of women and men who are learning to be comfortable in their own skin. They’re standing in their truth even if it means saying no to the ring and baby. Things some people often fantasize about in life.
What can we do about it? Stop questioning those who choose this way of life. One question I dread to hear, "Who will care for you in your old age?” Honestly, that has crossed my mind but having children doesn’t guarantee easy living let alone a future of guaranteed caregiving. In fact, having children doesn’t guarantee success or happiness. While the Childfree path doesn’t appear to be explored often, being Childfree by Choice is nothing new. Believe it or not, going childfree and being comfortably childless will not automatically bring on regret in the near future either. It’s a choice and also how some resolve their fertility challenges.