I quickly learned that there are some things you should avoid when you’re trying to conceive especially if you’ve hit a few roadblocks along the way. Honestly I thought it would take a few months to get pregnant NOT years. According to my doctor, the reason is “Unexplained Fertility” which simply means I appear healthy with no signs of endometriosis, fibroids or any other condition that can create a challenge for women looking forward to motherhood. My husband and I are both in our mid- thirties and certainly feel the pressure to start a family right now. In fact, my journey has been an emotional roller coaster. However, there are some things those of us in the “Trying to Conceive” community can do to make sure we don’t fall into a depression.
The following are just a few things I believe women in the TTC should avoid:
BABY SHOWERS-Why torture yourself? At one time, I felt obligated to accept every baby shower invitation that came my way. The year my husband and I started working on a baby, we were invited to five baby showers. One hit too close home. My younger brother announced he and his significant other were expecting their first child. I was torn. “I’m the eldest. I should be having my parent’s first grandchild,” I thought. I ended up in tears at some of the baby showers or at least holding tears back. I find myself overwhelmed with grief at baby showers even when I think I’m strong and comfortable with my “childless” status. The remedy: Ignore the invitation and if you’re extremely close to the person, be open and honest about your feelings first then throw the invitation away.
BIRTHDAY PARTIES-This may be a tricky one for some people. I have a few close friends with children and I absolutely love being around their kids. However, my husband and I tend to get invites to children birthday parties a little too often. It can be very awkward being the only couple without children at a child’s birthday party which is why I either send a gift without attending or once again ignore the invite.
BABY TALK-“When are you having children?” That’s a question I try my best to avoid with simple answers. I often say, “In due time,” or “I don’t know.” If the person is really pushy, I’ll respond with a question for them or just bluntly say that’s a personal question and move on from there. People may make up things in things in their own mind to answer that question but that’s not your problem and should not be your concern. People assume every woman who is married should eventually move on to motherhood but the reality is NOT “childless” women are looking to be a mother. It’s a choice as well as a personal question that no one should feel obligated to answer or discuss.