The #1 meme that speaks for all childless women, whether by choice or chance.......
Infertility and one more shot to beat it.
Watching another couple’s journey to beat infertility is like looking in the mirror. The testing, fertility treatments, secrecy, shame, expense, ovulation kits, negative pregnancy tests and tears were all an immediate reminder of infertility and a journey I’d never thought would be a part of my story. In the U.S, one in 8 couples have trouble conceiving a child. That means at least a year of trying to conceive with no results. The experience sometimes leads to troubling times for couples due to the stress of pregnancy false alarms and the overwhelming number of baby shower invitations flooding your mail box.
One More Shot not only documents the raw side of infertility, it inspires the couple who may have thought of parenting only as birthing a child with their own biology. The film, which is centered around Noah Moskin and his wife, Maya also brings fertility once again to the forefront. I can’t tell you how many times, I lied to people just to hide the fact that my husband and I were having trouble getting pregnant. I felt alone, even with my husband by my side.
Unfortunately, infertility feels like a curse. There are short moments of hope until your menstrual cycle begins. Once that happens, you immediately start to question why it’s happening to you. Today, more people know about our struggle but it doesn’t fix the hurt I often feel when someone announces their pregnancy. My stomach cramps up each time I get the news that most are often excited about. For myself, those announcements make me feel as if I’m being teased, bullied and laughed at. No matter how the news is delivered.... it’s triggers an ugly side of me that only my husband is fortunate to see.
However, the personal accounts of those brave couples in One More Shot reminds us all that we’re not alone. I especially love how the men shared their feelings, showing us a side that’s underrepresented in media.
In short, the film confirms that infertility can be defeated whether it’s through In Vitro Fertilization, adoption, surrogacy, as well as embryo or sperm donation. The movie in my opinion is award winning and has encouraged my husband and I to also give it One More Shot.
To see the film for yourself or recommend couples experiences fertility challenges, it’s available right now on iTunes.
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The character I connected with the most in the movie Girl's Trip
Are you the friend with everything except for a child? I am and my heart dropped the very moment Ryan Pierce, the character in the movie Girl's Trip shared with her friends that she was suffering from infertility. The scene was just like a moment ripped out of a chapter in a book about my life. The three ladies surrounding Ryan (Regina Hall), an award winning author in the film all reminded me of women in my close circle. Ironically, we all met in college too. There's the fun, silly friend like Dina (played by Tiffany Haddish) who I actually met in dance class. Don’t judge me. I was trying to take it easy that particular semester. However, my Dina is no joke either. She’s the friend that hurts when you hurt and has no problem fighting on your behalf. To be fair, I actually have two Dina characters in my life. Then there’s my friend who is so similar to Jada Pinkett-Smith's character Lisa, that all I could do is laugh. My husband likes to call that friend "Big Stiff" since she's always uptight about any or everything. But don’t get it twisted the Lisa in my life is a joy to be around once she lets her hair down. She’s my divorced friend who actually had a baby during one of the darkest periods in my life. It was 2012 and my husband and I were desperately trying to conceive. Five years later, that's no longer the case but the fertility challenge certainly put a strain on my marriage. Thankfully, infidelity isn't the strain that I had to endure like Ryan but the pressure to put on a fake smile like her hits too close to home. As far as the friend that plays the role of Sasha (Queen Latifah) that's a tough one. None of my friends has had an interest in my journalism career so a competitive friendship is completely foreign to me. However, I do have a Sasha friend whose dreams were just as big as mine. Unfortunately, life just didn’t pan out the way she had planned.
My girls are my sisters for different reasons. Individually, they all made me realize that it's alright not to have it all. It doesn't make me any less human or successful either. Today, I still have dreams of a baby but I'm reminded through my strong friendship with those ladies that it's okay to be transparent and share those feelings. Like Ryan, I used to put so much pressure on myself to keep everything together. I assumed that I had to especially as a 37 year-old accomplished woman. The truth is I should be focused on sharing my truth and building others up. The fact is I am not alone and neither are the women with similar stories. So whether you’re the friend who appears to have it all, just know that it’s okay to tell others that you don’t have it all. Many of us are missing things that we’ve prayed for but if that’s the case,it shouldn’t stop us from being thankful. No matter what that missing piece of the puzzle is, I encourage you to find strength and peace in knowing that the bottom line is that you’re still blessed. Just look at who’s in your corner. It may be your family or friends but be reminded today and forever, that your blessings are right there in front of you.