Infertility

5 things the workplace can learn from childless women

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Often times people assume women without children have a ton of free time to do one thing......work. So you're the first person called into the office for late or overnight shifts. Why is that? Maybe it's because childless women aren't respected in the workplace? I certainly feel this way.I'm sure this is all to familiar to single women too. Now, what if you're married? Does that mean, childless couples struggle to figure out what to do with their free time?

If you're exhausted because you're childless then here's a list of 5 things you can share with co-workers even some family members and friends to ensure them that you're not twiddling your fingers at home.

 

  1. Childless women and couples know how to have fun: Yes, surprising but true and they often look forward to the weekend because they're child-free. Bingo!
  2. Lazy time is necessary: We may not have children to feed, bathe and spend time with but oversleeping on a Sunday is not a crime.
  3. Self-care is crucial: When you're childless, you can often find at least 10 things to do for yourself especially if you always have a jam packed calendar. Martini and manicure anyone?
  4. Impromptu becomes the norm in life: I'm not talking about last minute calls or requests from your boss to work late but impromptu happy hour events or evenings with friends who may suddenly visit from out of time. FYI: spouses actually like to surprise their loved ones with quick getaways or romantic walks through the park or at the beach.
  5. Explanations are a health hazard: Never offer an explanation as to why you can't work late or cater to someone else's needs. It's very rude for people to manage your child-free time. Duh!

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Infertility taught me to appreciate Mother's Day

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Every once in a while an image of a child flashes through my mind. It happens during quiet moments when I’m usually staring into space. I used to get excited every time it happened.  I felt like those moments were subtle hints of comfort and confirmation that I would soon become a mother. There’s always this reoccurring image of a baby girl that warms my soul. It’s so realistic that I feel like I can just reach out and touch her. Surprisingly, the experience has truly helped me to do one thing: Be a mom.

 

I always thought women had to bear children to become mothers. That’s the furthest from the truth. Some women may never experience motherhood as the world sees it. However, naturally giving birth to a child isn’t the only way women can take on such a nurturing role. I’d like to think of myself as a mom. It’s a role I play often whenever I’m around children. Instead of waiting until the day I bear a child, labeling my childless status as a curse or falling into a depression as many celebrate Mother’s Day, I decided to let go of the love bottled up inside me and share with those just because I'm loved. I'm loved unconditionally by my mother, and all the women including aunts who molded me into the person I am today.

 

Infertility takes women on a journey that no one can actually prepare for. It certainly never crossed my mind. I grew up with lots of dolls and played house as a kid. My imagination ran wild then and motherhood was always a part it. I just knew I was going to have children. To my surprise, things worked out differently. I've cried, screamed even felt ashamed about my childless status. Then it hit me. "What does it take to be a mom," I asked myself. My first thought: It takes love, resiliency and the desire to love all children as your own. After all children are a gift from God and for that reason I am a mom and so are you.

 

Happy Mother's Day!

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Don't stress, throw confetti

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Sounds simple right? Instead of being stressed, just throw confetti. If life was only that easy.

On Friday, I found myself having lunch alone. It's something I haven't done in awhile. I had a taste for some Greek food and so I made my way to a local restaurant. Inside sat a woman and her baby. She was happy and I found her quite entertaining as I watched her make funny faces to get the baby to laugh. The mother eventually started to walk around with the child, making her way to a seating area near me to chat briefly with the owner. The sound of baby talk suddenly filled the restaurant as the owner transformed into a little character of her own to capture the baby's attention. I tried to ignore them but I too became engaged and pulled in by the baby.

Infertility for some women is truly a struggle but I refuse to allow it take over my life. Sure I would have loved to be on the other end, turning into my usual silly self around the baby. In the past I fell into a brief depression where I tried to avoid women with children. Today, I throw kindness around like it's confetti. Why? Because love is kind. Besides the first step to being a mother whether you birth a child, adopt or nurture one in random settings like a restaurant is LOVE.

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One relationship fertile and infertile women often experience

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What does it feel like to miss you for just one month? I want to know. What does it feel like to not cater to the pain you bring me? You take everything from me including my energy whenever you're around. I'm never myself. Actually I'm moody and you bring out the worst in me. I just want you to leave me alone for one month. Is that too much to ask? Actually nine months, that's all I need.

We met when I was 16 years old. I was over my grandparents house and sitting on their sofa just as happy as I could be and glued to the television. Then you came along. Who knew that one visit would turn into more than two decades together. Twenty-one years later, you're still around and it looks like you're not going anywhere. I've tried to make you leave on more than one occasion as well as my husband but you're tough.  I must say I never imagined that it would be this hard to get rid of you.

I'll never forget the moment I thought you finally got the hint. It was the summer of 2012. I felt sexy and confident about myself. I was hopeful and no matter how many times you upset me I tried to be in a good place. A few times the thought of you made me feel a little uncomfortable but I remained positive and had my mind set that we weren't going to see each other. The thought brought me joy. I even started to daydream about what things would be like without you. I was afraid to tell my friends about us. It was too early to share the news. I was advised to wait two weeks but then you came back. It was Day 12 and I was just getting excited to begin a new chapter in my life. Unfortunately, I suddenly fell sick. I became extremely nauseous.

That's when you reminded me……I'm not pregnant and will never have control over my relationship with my menstrual cycle.

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