Don't test me. I have superpowers.
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Do this one thing......
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Stood up!
So part of being single is going on fun and exciting dates, sometimes several within a week. When you finally meet someone who you actually like instantly you look forward to going out with them and having an amazing time. I must admit I stopped going out for awhile because I was either meeting men who I didn't connect with or not meeting men at all! However, recently I met a man and he seemed to be everything that I wanted. He's intelligent, handsome and a Moorehouse College man.
Now for those of you who don't understand what that means .....please let me enlighten you. In college you would often hear girls talk about different men on different college campuses. One of those college campuses happened to be Moorehouse and the men there had a certain reputation. They were known for their intelligence, aura and style. So as you can imagine I was excited about the possibility of us connecting. I had already been on a few dates and had an amazing time each and every time we were together.
However, one hot Saturday summer night I was all ready for our day together but to my surprise his phone was off or maybe he just want taking calls. My heart sank when I thought this man was possibly standing me up. I stared at my phone, checked my social media accounts , only to find nothing. I was crushed. After staying in the bed all day and watching crazy Lifetime movies, I decided to pull myself together throw something on and take myself out. While out I called one of my close friends, who came out to meet me for dinner. As I sat there with a sad face slowly drinking my margarita, she put it all in perspective. She said, "Girl that man owes you nothing and sure you may be sad because he hasn't answered his phone but the two of you are simply dating."
My friend is very wise and added, "Don't put all your eggs in one basket for a man you just met. Yes you may like him lbut that's the beauty of dating ... You can date a few people at a time and then make a executive decision when the time was right."
Immediately I started to feel much better. She was right. Yes I was sad and discovered one of my biggest weaknesses. When I start to like someone I really fall hard. I need to simply just date with no expectations and if we are suppose to be..... then we will be. I will say that I hope to hear from Mr. Moorehouse just to know that he is ok. As for our future, only time will tell. Whatever the case I think I'll continue dating and learn to have fun with the process.
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S.I.N.G.L.E
Self-respect: Being single starts with not only self-respect but self-esteem. Develop a strong relationship with yourself. There's no telling when Mr. Right will walk into your life.
Invest in one self: Make time to pamper, meditate, and accomplish your goals. This is the perfect time to do so.
New outlook on life: Always think of your glass as half-full not half-empty. Being single is not a death sentence.
Grateful: Take a look at your past and where you are today and be thankful. Remember you're on the right track. No matter how many of your friends are getting engaged, don't think for one minute that you're behind schedule.
Love yourself: It's just that simple. How can you love anyone else without loving yourself?
Enjoy life: Ultimately, enjoy every moment of your life. Single is dating smart and having fun.
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Always protect your heart.
Always protect your heart. That doesn't mean keep your guard up but pay attention to signs. I dated a man before who I'll call Mr. Rumor. Why? The reason is simple. This man had many secrets and there were so many rumors circulating around about him that I didn't know what to believe. Everything from Mr. Rumor being married, divorced and possibly gay.
To me, the most difficult thing about a rumor is, it may actually be true and could have some validity to it. I will never forget the day I laid my eyes on Mr. Rumor. He would tell me how much he cared for me, how I was different, and how he wanted to be with me and only me. One night while out with my girlfriends, I learned there was a lot more to Mr. Rumor. Apparently some of my friends were familiar with him. I eventually started to replay some of the conversations that we've had in my head, eventually questioning him and the friendship we had developed. In a matter of no time our relationship faded because I started to ask questions. I guess making it difficult for him to lie and pressuring him to clarify the rumors. To date, there are still many rumors lingering around about him.
However, I did learn a valuable lesson from that encounter with Mr. Rumor. The lesson is now a part of my dating 101 rules. I strongly advise women and make it a point myself to always ask questions and never settle.
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Wedding invites or wedding woes?
I don’t know about you but I’m a social media junkie. However, I’m not one of those who tend to live their lives through popular social media sites. Because of my internet addiction I often find out the latest on everything you can imagine via - Instagram or Facebook. This seems to be exceptionally true when it comes to relationships and those on my friend list that showcase their love online. You can always tell how someone's relationship is doing by reading their status. Well, to a certain degree and depending on what they want to expose and how they want you to perceive it. Likewise, when people get engaged, married or have babies they post it all on social media. I'm starting to believe that the post office will be out of business soon! LOL!
As I quickly approach thirty-something, I have been invited and attended more weddings that I could have ever imagined. Although I'm always up for throwing on a nice dress and some pumps, I can't help but wonder if I will ever be a bride. I'm one of those people who is happy for others when they fall in love, but after every single wedding I attend, I leave wondering if I'm going to have a head full of gray before I walk down the aisle. It seems like my generation comes from an era where weddings are just one big show, and they often forget the symbolism and Coventry that is aligned with marriage. Whenever I attend a wedding I reflect on the beauty of love and I'm reminded that true love still exists, despite all of the hurtful and painful experiences that I may have had. Sometimes weddings can be a bitter sweet experience for a single woman, like myself but as time goes by, my wedding woes have become less and less. I constantly remind myself that marriage should be a reflection of how much you are willing to give up yourself to love someone else unconditionally. So now when I go to weddings I ask myself, “Can you only imagine if you were married now? Not one person that you have been with has been marriage material or willing to give up himself to love you, right?”
Today, I've decided that when my moment comes, I’ll accept those wedding invites to be a reminder of God's imperfect love, that only HE could make perfect. So for now, I will enjoy signing hallmark wedding cards of celebration. Oh and of course I will enjoy wearing a new dress and amazing pumps, as I celebrate a couple’s perfect love.
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Five Power Moves That Lead To Mr. Right
1. BE YOURSELF-Sounds simple right? When you’re dating, that’s the best thing you can do. Never try to be what you think the person is attracted too. If you landed a date with a potential love interest, then he obviously likes what he sees already.
2. BE CONFIDENT-A single woman should always be confident, but not conceited. It’s easy to go out and meet people when you’re comfortable in your own skin. You’re not going to meet Mr. Right if you let your ego get big or always critiquing everything about yourself.
3. TAKE THE LEAD-When you see something you want, go after it! Don’t be timid. So the next time you lock eyes with a man who you’re interested in, just approach him and strike up a conversation. It’s not like you’re about to walk down the aisle and jump the broom.
4. EXPECT TO KISS A FEW FROGS-Every man you meet is not Mr. Right! Take the experience for what it is worth. Try not to get caught up with age or your biological clock. Sure it would be nice to have Mr. Right by your side before you turn thirty or even forty. However, you’re not in a race so enjoy the dating experience. At least you get to check off those you don’t want in your life.
5. DON’T BE JUDGEMENTAL-Often times single women get caught up in the “wish” list they create. The man has to be tall, drive a luxury car, have an athletic build, etc. Ditch the list and stop being so picky. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have standards but get to know the man and make sure you pick him for the right reasons. Instead of judging things that are perishable, make sure he’s honest, respectful, caring and faithful.